Joannas

  

guest story by Tim, images by Simon Sonnenblume

You're doing it wrong

When Joanna Muir woke up in the middle of the night, it wasn't unexpected. There wasn't any particular change in atmosphere, or a sudden sound. She didn't need the bathroom, she wasn't cold. She just woke up.

What was different, though, was the sign that had appeared since she went to sleep. It was simple enough -  a poster on her wall that looked to have been attached with sticky tape. It said, "You're doing it wrong."

A simple statement, perhaps meaningful, perhaps not. Joanna didn't spend much time on the message. She was more concerned about how it had got there, how somebody had got into her bedroom. Frankly, she was instantly creeped out.

Decidedly frightened, she got out of bed very fast and went to the door, listened, and pushed it open. All was as usual and she took some unconscious comfort in that. 

Joanna explored the adjacent rooms, mentally before physically, and then went downstairs carefully. 

Again, nothing, and a further explore showed all entrances, windows and placements to be as they should be. All were entirely as she had left them the previous evening.

She made herself a tea, and sat for a while, thinking. She decided it wasn't an immediate police matter, but it would be in the morning. She tried to re-ravel her nerves, thought that bed was the place to be, and went back upstairs.

As she entered her room, the sign fluttered slightly, not that it needed her attention. Next to it, a new sign had appeared. "And you still are", it said.

That was that. She grabbed and threw on some clothes, left the house in panic, got into her car, and drove. 

It might be that the risk to her, driving at speed in an unfocused state, was greater than whatever was at home; it certainly didn't feel that way and there was no such analysis going on. There were moments she caught herself sobbing with fear.

The lights of a hotel - the nearest - appeared. People. Help. A phone to use. Warmth.

She pulled in to park the car. As she reached to open the door, she found it locked and unopenable. She screamed. Her scream threw her head back and her eyes passed the interior mirror. And in the mirror, she saw a shape, a thing...a person, sitting in the back seat. It smiled at her.

She saw a shape, a thing...a person

She didn't faint. Somehow this concretisation of her fear helped - the potentials collapsed into the understandable, however horrific that might be. It was now a particular situation with a particular circumstance and could, in some way be navigated.

The figure cleared its throat. "Oh, sorry", it said. "Didn't mean to startle you. Hi."

This entirely unexpected approach was more than confusing. The waves of confusion fell upon the shore of her remaining certainty, as she opened her mouth to speak. Before any words could blossom, she noticed, all at once and yet all in a sequence, that the figure was a woman. A small slab of the fear glacier fell away. Moreover, it was a familiar woman. Very familiar. In fact, it was herself.

Joanna turned around in her seat. "What the..I mean..no, I mean, what the?" 

Joanna Back Seat said "Oh sorry, I'd forgotten what it was like when I saw - you - that it is to say, when you...Look, do you want a coffee?"

There seemed little choice, and Joanna Front Seat closed her mouth, stunned. Then she shrugged. "Sure", she said.

Now the car door opened, and the two of them walked to the hotel. Wary at first, Joanna's fear and rage had by now turned to open astonishment and confusion, but these emotions allowed her to walk next to herself to the hotel lobby. She even had the presence of mind to say "What will they say, there being two of us?"

"Twins", said the other Joanna, shortly.

Nobody did ask, or comment. The two Joannas sat in the lobby. One wanted coffee, the other needed it.

One wanted coffee, and the other needed it

"So?", said Joanna.

"Well, I bet you think I'm from the future, or the past, right? Or it's a multi-Universe, I've hopped over here from another. Actually, I know that's what you think because you're me."

This was confusing too, but somehow made sense, because these theories were exactly what Joanna was thinking. It was strange knowing that what you think was known to someone else, but then of course this wasn't someone else. The strangeness began to abate and grow simultaneously.

Two coffees later, and everything and nothing became clear. One Joanna had been asleep, and the other Joanna had found herself in her bedroom, with the sign in her hand. She had stuck it to the wall, though she didn't know why. She had followed the first Joanna to the car, though how she had been undetected was a mystery too. To be honest, this whole thing was as puzzling to Joanna as it was to Joanna.

"So, let get this straight", said both of the Joannas, simultaneously. "I - you - were asleep, and I -you found yourself in my room and then..well, wait, what?"

They looked puzzled. One Joanna moved nearer the other, perhaps to hear better. One reached her hand for her coffee cup, and so did the other. They reached for the same cup.

As their fingers met, they somehow merged into one another. "Oh my God", they said, as they moved closer again, shuffling up the seat.

They became one single Joanna

They leaned back, leaned against each other, merged, became one single Joanna.

After a few minutes, Joanna got up, left the hotel and drove home. There was no note, no sign that anything had ever happened. She went to bed, somehow no longer frightened, but still infinitely puzzled.

The next morning, Joanna went through her usual routine. She made her breakfast, left the house, went to work. Although all seemed normal, she found it hard to concentrate on the job in hand, and after a while, left her desk for a break.

In the little kitchen, she turned on the kettle, got a mug from the cupboard, and turned to see a sign taped to the wall. 

"Nope,"it said. "Still wrong."