Arthur "A.I." Bleistift

 by Glen L. Bledsoe 

One young man has set the art world ablaze with this stunning technique or perhaps it would be better described as a discipline like yoga or Tai Chi Ch'uan. Young Arthur "A.I." Bleistift calls his technique "Analog Intelligence."

This technique relies on the ability of the artist to look very carefully at an object or a scene and hold what she has seen in her mind as accurately as she can for up to three or four seconds. Then the artist using any number of different tools makes a mark on a sheet of paper or a stretched sheet of specially treated cloth stretched across a wooden frame. Then (and this is important) the artist compares the made mark against what she can see and either modifies the mark to make it more representative of what is visible or moves forward to making another representative mark.

"The process continues," says Arthur, "until the image is complete." The Bleistift Method is taking the art world by storm. So much so that artificial intelligence artists fear their art form may fall by the wayside of history.

The Repainter Strikes Again!

 

by Glen L. Bledsoe 

Recently released on parole Emil Bruzek has apparently broken into the Art Museum and Gift Shoppe of Paris (Illinois) to repaint “Smiling Blond” by famed photorealist painter Clark Near. The portrait of personality Denise Deny famed for her portrayal of Benita Poole in the screen adaptation of “Benjie the Acrobat” video game and its successive sequels is now undergoing restoration under the skillful eye of Jonathan James, the well-known art restorer who plays a detective in the TV series “Casey Benjamin, Supernatural Investigator.” 

The Master Milliner

 

by Glen L. Bledsoe 

"The Master Milliner" by William Thomas Pusekat circa 1720 depicts Catherine Bread (sometimes spelled Braid) winning the hat design competition in London for the 10th year in a row. It is unknown who the figure second from the right is. A judge perhaps who did not agree with the decision or perhaps a competitor.

Flypaper

 by Glen L. Bledsoe 

The Artists Readable Wrangle Museum of Art made headlines in the late 20th century when thieves disguised as mimes stole the John Smear Veneer painting “The Performance” (Dutch: Het optreden). Note the empty space on the right wall where the painting used to hang. Needless to say since then security measures have been upgraded. Inasmuch as mimes have the natural ability to bypass digital security systems (remember they don’t make a sound) the museum installed occult measures which have thus far been quite successful. 

The primary implementation is the soul flypaper (note the rectangle between the two windows on the left), which thus far has captured more than a dozen souls of would-be thieves and converted them (more or less) into living paintings. The bait on the rear wall is the John Term Brand painting “Men in Yellow.” Some find sight of the trapped souls disturbing and some believe it to be cruel and unusual punishment, but others believe that spending eternity in the view of great art to be no punishment whatsoever. Henry Schilder, the museum’s director pointed out that museum attendance has increased ten-fold since the installation of the flypaper and credits the presence of the trapped souls for much of the increase.