The Unfortunate Store

 

By Glen L. Bledsoe 

ASTORIA, ORE - Experts say that these new businesses unfairly target poor neighborhoods and the economically disadvantaged. Almost overnight businesses that buy, sell and trade misfortunes are springing up like mushrooms after a rain. Where did it all start and how do these businesses impact our communities?

Beaverton businessman Philip Henri-Bones, owner of a large chain of laundromats in the Pacific Northwest and newly opened "The Unfortunate Store," (pictured) in Astoria says he got the idea after reading James Joyce's short story "The Sin Eaters." The notion came to him that those who wish to shed the emotional weight of their personal tragedies might shift them to someone else-for a price. What makes this so devastating to our poor neighborhoods is that minorities who are well used to things going pear-shaped are taking on these burdens in exchange for quick cash at an alarming rate.

Dr. Jean Sheldon, Professor of Statistical Burdens and Calamities at the University of Oregon said, "The poor are experienced in bad luck and so they are more emotionally fortified when things go wrong. The well-to-do are taking advantage of this trait and in exchange for significant fees are shifting their guilt and social burdens onto the poor."

This has attracted the attention of the Oregon Fortunes Commission (OFC). Spokesperson Earl Wittles says he believes that laws are probably being violated, but admitted that this is a legal gray area. State Senator James Coville told reporters he has plans to introduce legislation to address these matters in the upcoming session in Salem.

The managers of two of the largest chains "Tragedy Depot" and "Tough Luck World" did not return phone calls from our reporters.