Homework

by Glen L. Bledsoe 

As students in school we all had days when we weren't able to attend class. Might be that you had a contagious disease or you broke some important bones needed to support your body as you were shoved down the hall to class. Or it could be your parents were taking you out of school because they made you go on vacation (Brit: holiday). Not guilty, right? You, of course, had no control over that! Or it might be something supremely vital to your mental well being like you just got a new puppy. We all know what's more important, don't we? You can solve a page of math story-problems any time, but your first day with a new puppy only happens once in a lifetime.

But the pits is that when you got back to school there was Miss Schultz with that zombie glare in her eye handing you a pile of books and math homework to last you several lifetimes. Or worse still your mother collected it before you went on vacation and you were expected to work at least 20 minutes each day on it while you were away interrupting your designated, mandatory vacation time. Of course, that never worked out because your parents understood that if you felt like it you could dump the whole pile into the motel swimming pool by "accident."

 

Dreams & Mystery

 

by Glen L. Bledsoe 

No one knows for certain why we dream, but whatever the reason it must be important. 

What is it in our minds during dreaming that gets suspended so we accept irrational events as being common place and natural? 

Why it is that we submit ourselves to worlds so out of synch with our own that our bodies must be lightly paralyzed otherwise we might harm ourselves reacting to unreal incidents? 

What mechanism largely flush dreams from our minds upon awakening so that we are not terribly confused by the two worlds we move between?

No Pets Alllowed. Service Humans Are Welcome

 by Glen L. Bledsoe 

Yes, they're cute. And it does seem cruel to leave them chained up outside the store, but humans (unless otherwise trained) are just not appropriate for commercial indoor spaces. For one thing they are gullible, superstitious and are prone to making bad decisions based on their emotions. So while they make excellent servants and are loyal, it's best to leave them where they can be the least disruptive. Enjoy your humans at home

Flypaper

 by Glen L. Bledsoe 

The Artists Readable Wrangle Museum of Art made headlines in the late 20th century when thieves disguised as mimes stole the John Smear Veneer painting “The Performance” (Dutch: Het optreden). Note the empty space on the right wall where the painting used to hang. Needless to say since then security measures have been upgraded. Inasmuch as mimes have the natural ability to bypass digital security systems (remember they don’t make a sound) the museum installed occult measures which have thus far been quite successful. 

The primary implementation is the soul flypaper (note the rectangle between the two windows on the left), which thus far has captured more than a dozen souls of would-be thieves and converted them (more or less) into living paintings. The bait on the rear wall is the John Term Brand painting “Men in Yellow.” Some find sight of the trapped souls disturbing and some believe it to be cruel and unusual punishment, but others believe that spending eternity in the view of great art to be no punishment whatsoever. Henry Schilder, the museum’s director pointed out that museum attendance has increased ten-fold since the installation of the flypaper and credits the presence of the trapped souls for much of the increase.